My Top Three Tips to THRIVE (not just Survive) the Holidays while Looking and Feeling Your BEST

(This is me....just kidding...  Who has time to make snow angels?!?  It's the Holidays for Pete's sake!?!)

How do we survive this holiday season while looking-and more importantly FEELING- our best? If you've read any of my other blogs, you know by now I address not just outward beauty but inner as well. In my opinion if you don't have beauty and peace radiating from the inside out, it doesn't matter what you wear. It's like throwing a new coat of paint on the walls of a house with a crumbling foundation. So in that spirit here are my top tips for surviving the Holiday Season while looking (and feeling) your best:

1. Pay yourself first (daily). I know I have mentioned this before on my Facebook page, but the benefits of paying yourself first are infinite.  As some of you know, I took a two week roadtrip with my family last fall. It sounds romantic and ideal in theory (and for the most part it was HIGHLY enjoyable!!). But let's be real, traveling with 3 kids under the age of 6 and living in a space that's literally 0.05% the amount of space you are used to sharing with your family can kind of begin to wear on you. By week 2 I was feeling the burn-lashing out more at my family, telling my husband I hate RV road trips and that "I'm never doing this again!" It wasn't until we got into a near collision with a semi-truck while I was driving the RV (my mom actually broke her rib in the incident) and I got pulled over (all within 5 mins) that I began to realize just how much my negative attitude was beginning to affect everyone around me. I was just in a negative state that final stretch. When we got home I realized why: I never spent time to recharge Katie's batteries during the trip like: Journaling, praying, working out, listening to powerful affirmations, etc. Instead, I spent all I had on my family. In the end my family and I paid for this crucial mistake. I leaned a valuable lesson: no matter what's going on around me I need to PAY myself first. Investing time in ourselves makes us less resentful, more focused, and more loving to everyone around us. It's like on the airplane pre-flight take-off checklist: put your face mask on first before you even put it on for your children if the plane is going down. The reasoning behind it is if you reach a certain level of air pressure your brain doesn't function the way it normally would and it can no longer perform even the simplest of tasks including putting in air mask on your small children. This analogy is so ironic but so true-if we don't take care of ourselves amidst the craziness of the Holidays, everything and everyone around us (including those we love the most) will suffer. Get up, get moving, go for a walk with your friend, journal with some amazing coffee for 20 minutes, do some pilates, read a book or devotional, anything!

2. Schedule relaxation. Ok who has time to relax during the holidays? There's last minute Christmas shopping to do (puke), presents to wrap (and re-wrap after you kids prematurely open them), parties to attend, groceries to get (ugh), etc etc....we have a never ending laundry list of things we should do. While I'm not going to completely neglect my list (I am a Water after all-lists are my life!), I am going to be be more intentional about it. I know that if I overdo it and neglect rest and relaxation/downtime, things will simply suck. "The best way to protect your health and happiness is to schedule it."-Kris Carr. This is a woman who was diagnosed with a rare and incurable stage IV cancer over a decade ago… So I think she knows a little bit about how to take care of herself. She is leading a healthy balanced life even though her cancer cannot be cured. If she can do it, why can't we? She created a schedule with a daily affirmation and away to plan your relaxation time for yourself every day-because we all know "if you fail to plan, you plan to fail."
You can find the planner here:
http://kriscarr.com/blog/holiday-stress-management-tips/?utm_source=social&utm_medium=facebook&utm_content=holidayselfcareblog112916

Instead of running myself ragged the week before Christmas (like I do every year) I am intentionally choosing to being in bed every night before 11 PM all of next week, and I even scheduled a massage for myself  next THURS (don't tell my husband-let's say "I am grocery shopping"-because I do that all the time with a family of five). Why not schedule some relaxation time for you this season so that you can actually enjoy the holidays?

3. Lastly: WEAR colors that will enhance you, instead of sucking the life (and color) from you. Here are the colors to wear that will work on EVERYONE (even if you haven't been typed by me!): dark plum, dark teal and your eye color. *Note: I DID NOT SAY BLACK.   Black sucks the life and color from almost everyone-there is a small percentage of folks for whom it works, but it's a small percentage.  These colors (dark plum, dark teal and YOUR eye color) work on EVERYONE!!  Did I mention, everyone?  You must have at least one of these colors already hiding in your closet.  I am willing to bet on it.  

Cheers to an Enjoyable, Christmas Season-it will be what you make it....why not make it great?

-K

  

Combating the Negatives of Aging in a Youth-OBSESSED culture

Are you embracing aging or are you gearing up for battle?

As most of you know, I have completely eliminated TV from my life (probably one of the BEST decisions I have ever made).  I do still watch the weekend movie with my husband, and last week I really wanted to watch an hour of SNL (so I did) but beyond that and if I watch too many movies or TV my motivation level goes to the ground.  I also noticed another major disadvantage after watching a few too many movies over the long Thanksgiving weekend....I get right back into my habit of comparing myself to others!  UGH!  I have already written a lovely (if I do say so myself) post on combating image comparisons so I am not going to write it again (See post here: Aging sucks but it doesn't have to), however I feel I need to do a little PSA here on how to combat comparisons.  Again, my latest comparison: aging.  A week before Thanksgiving I turned 33.  Nothing too major, not a big milestone.  But it was another year on the calendar.  Now folks I am an image consultant-so image tends to be kind of important to me.  But what I promote to my clients is enhancing your personal beauty NOT comparing yourself to others.  Here I was again comparing myself to other ladies (mostly in movies, so obviously very real-looking with respect to makeup and hair and filters....joke joke) or more recently, younger versions of myself.  I figured if I was doing it (and I KNOW better) there has to be someone else out there doing the same thing.  So here is my attempt to change my perspective on aging (and yours) and be kinder to myself in the process........


1. Think of what you have gained this last year of getting older (not weight-ha!).  I look back at what was going on in my life a year ago and although everything happens in it's own time and as it should, I notice a distinct growth in myself and I am so proud of and happy with that.  I ditched a lot of negative thought patterns, gained a lot of positive ones, gave up TV, became uber clear on my goals, found different effective ways to communicate with those around me, started reading and growing at a rapid rate, and overall became more grateful as a person.  I am now excited to get up in the morning!  I also have three beautiful babies, and I am spending more quality time with them and watching them grow into some pretty cool people.  I have gained so much more but I am not going to bore you with the details.  Long-story short: this year gave me clarity and perspective and some awesome memories with my family and I am happy I gained that.

2.  Don't focus on what you are losing!  Unless you are losing a ton of weight, or negative energy, or terrible things I guess ;) Tony Robbins talks about several different ways people communicate and I am a gainer.  The basic principle is: you are either motivated by inspiration (*hello, that is me!) or desperation.  The sooner you figure it out, the better you can communicate with yourself.  I am a gainer, not a loser.  So the more I focus on what I am gaining by aging, the more graceful and grateful I will age.  The moment I start to spiral into thinking about what I am LOSING (ie. my youthful appearance, years on planet earth, etc) I am for sure in for a terrible ride-and a depressing one at that.  So if you are gainer like me (you need to first figure out what you are), you need to focus on what you are gaining to motivate you....not what you are losing.

3.  Remember: It's all about perspective.  This was the topic in church this morning.  Our pastor was telling the story of how he climbed to the top of Half Dome in Yosemite with his wife a few years back.  He is terrified of heights (much like myself) and gave quite a recounting of his experience and I was literally picturing how scared I would be if I were in his position.  I probably wouldn't have made it to the top-let's be real. His wife on the other hand LOVES heights!  So they both get to the top and he is having a panic attack and wondering how on earth they will get down now and she is peering over the edge with excitement.  Two people, same location, two VERY different reactions......the big difference:  their perspective.  Perspective is mindset to me.  If I want to have a more positive mindset about aging I need to have daily positive self-talk.  This garbage I have been telling myself as of late isn't working for me anymore.  Hint: the garbage gets stronger with the more TV/movies I watch and US weekly's I read.  It doesn't happen often but when I find myself reading the rags or watching certain things the comparisons start and I have a harder time turning them off.  I am sensitive to sugar (too much or certain kinds will send me into a spiral of a sugar binge for days!) and I know what to avoid and how to talk to myself about sugar now.  As time goes on, I am realizing I am very sensitive to the material I am putting into my mind!  Which brings me to my last tip......

4. Repeat the truth (or your truth) several times/day.  Our pastor mentioned this too.  Guess what these can also be called: affirmations.  Now before you think I am just another hippie-dippie (I didn't even tell you about encapsulating my placenta yet), think about this:  we are already using affirmations every day.  Stop and listen to yourself for just one day to realize what kind of affirmations you are saying.  Are you saying "wow, you are fearfully and wonderfully made!" every time you step out of the shower or does it go more like this: "huh, my butt looks saggier than last year, those wrinkles on my forehead appear deeper and no matter how much sleep I get, those darn bags under my eyes never seem to go away!"  My guess is your daily affirmation is the more like the latter-it is for most women so you are in good company.  What if we start plugging in more positive self talk, making those pathways to the brain much stronger and then take a look at how it makes us feel?  Why not try it for a week, a month, a year? You have nothing to lose and everything to gain ;) Use a post-it note on your mirror with your positive affirmation and every time you begin to focus on old-negative thought patterns, stop and focus on the new one.  Your mind cannot focus on BOTH-it needs to choose.  See what a difference it will make.


For more insight in positive affirmations, check out Louise Hay on Youtube.  Most of her stuff I enjoy (I say most because there are a few times she can get a little too hippie dippie, even for me). She actually wrote a book on how you can heal ailments in your life with how you speak to yourself-I have the book and I can vouch it has worked for me on several occasions.

Lastly, UNPLUG from facebook, instagram. twitter, email, messenger, and TV (or at least set a time limit for yourself!) and instead invest in you.  If we want beautiful things to grow within us, we need to put beautiful things in us (ie. reading and listening to good stuff, talking to ourselves in a positive way).

Have an amazing week of aging ;)

-K

How One Simple Thing Can Change Your Life TODAY

In today's cray cray world, it's hard for any of us NOT to feel overwhelmed.  I have three kids:  it's hard for me to put on clothes without someone crying or yelling for me.  So when people suggest things to make my life better, I think: "sure, I will do that!  As soon as I win the time lottery!"-aka: never.  But then I started to ask myself:  "What is no longer serving me, and how can I create more time and space in my life?"  The answer was clear:  cut out T.V.  Now, before I lose all of my readership here, the answer for you may be different. It worked for me, and it has changed the trajectory of my life, permanently.  Let me explain....

T.V. has always been a big presence in my life, it's like a comfort food (and can also conveniently be paired with actual comfort foods).  When I would have a long day, or if I had the dreadful 5 baskets of laundry to fold (I have three kids, remember?), or if I just needed to relaaaaaaaxxxxxx.....T.V. to the rescue!!!  More specifically, Bravo, to the rescue.  Real Housewives, Southern Charm (my fave), and Million Dollar Listing were high on the priority list.  Then, we got HBO for FREE.  Oh boy, this gal was in trouble.  There were obviously consequences:  I'd stay up and I would eat late...but most importantly:  was avoiding things that would truly help me further my career, help my family and help myself.  So quit....cold-turkey......not to say it was easy, but I can try anything for a week.  Here is what I did instead and here is how it can literally change your life, if you decide to take the plunge too:

1) Change your perception of the T.V. (aka: time vaccuum).  That's what my old boss used to call it.  He was an eccentric entrepreneur who built a successful business then sold it for some pretty good change.  He didn't own a T.V.  Look at anyone who is extremely successful and you they probably don't have a clue who the ladies of the Real Housewives are.  

2) Realize and admit: you are wasting valuable time that you could be using to better yourself.  All the greats have a phrase, and it goes something like this:  "While 9-5 and what happens on the job is important, what happens from 5-9, off the job, is infinitely more important."- Zig Ziglar.  Translation:  of course your job is a big deal (and being a stay at home mama is too!), but if you are sitting around watching T.V. at night, you are not working on your passions, interests, hobbies, or things that can make a huge difference to you and the world.  As Tony Robbins likes to say: changing your life in a small way can have massive impact in the long run. This is one small change, but can have very dramatic effects if you stick with it.  

3) Fill your time with ACTUAL things to make your life AWESOME!  What else can you do instead of T.V.? Well for me, I still like to listen to things so I found some great books online (see below) and also some amazing links on Youtube to listen to (and FREE people).  We have so much garbage going into our brains daily (bad news, comparisons from the media, pop culture junk food); so this was a great way for me to off-set and eliminate some of that garbage.  Also, I found myself with WAAAAAAAAAAY more time and energy in the first week I cut out T.V.  I also got really clear on my passions, how I want to impact the world, and steps to do so.....all within 5 evenings.  Had I tried to do this while watching T.V. and with three little kids, it would've taken me years.  I found a short-cut.  I know it made such a difference because after a week I dabbled by watching some HBO with the hubs and I was back to being overwhelmed, no time left to dream, etc.  I still will watch the occasional movie with my husband, but I told him and myself, it will be on a weekend only.  This time to me has become too valuable to waste!!  

Here are some links to different things you can listen to (while scrubbing toilets, folding laundry or just relaxing in your bathtub!): 

Unlimited Power (excellent):  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EWTJTDhIvf4

Living an Extraordinary Life (and avoid mediocrity):  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7WDPrDAM2Cc

The Energy Bus:  https://www.amazon.com/Energy-Bus-Rules-Fuel-Positive/dp/B001OAAUNC

Just like I tell my clients after they are typed:  just TRY it!  Try this one simple thing, maybe for a week or maybe for a month.....if you can't give up Housewives, just commit to only watching 1 hour of T.V./ week. Just do something!  Give yourself and the world around you a gift: give up the Time Vacuum :)  

Be your Best-K